Taken from Billboard.com
1. Foo Fighters
"Rope"
Definitely not their best work. For some reason, the word "groovy" keeps popping into my head. It sounds too... groovy. Whatever that means. I have a feeling this is going to be the best I get to hear out of the ten, though. I like these guys' older shit, but I think the time Dave Grohl spent with Queens Of The Stone Age may very well have taken its toll on him. It's stoner rock, for sure. And I'm not a stoner. (C+)
2. Mumford and Sons
"The Cave"
Boring. Boring, boring, boring, boring. Is this folk rock? What the hell is this? I don't like it. No sir, not one bit. Are they even trying? The melody sucks, there's nothing going on outside of the backing vocals, and I don't typically like most backing vocals. The banjo is a nice touch, but it's not enough to make me stop talking shit. They should be PUT into a cave. Fuck almighty. (F)
3. Rise Against
"Help Is On The Way"
Wait a minute, these guys used to be a PUNK BAND!? This is like Steve Perry singing for a friggin' emo outfit. Steve Perry doing a bad Maynard Keenan impression. With those dickheads from Incubus singing backup. "Help Is On the Way"? Tell them to hurry the fuck up. (D-, and I'm being mighty generous)
4. Seether
"Country Song"
Egad. What the hell is happening here? There's, like, this semi-decent blues riff being played at a barely-audible volume, and some asshole growling in that post-grunge/nu-metal modern "rock" style, while the drummer plays a disco beat--AND THEN! The chorus (I think) takes the suck up one more notch, effectively forcing me to promptly click the stop button. (F-)
5. Cage The Elephant
"Shake Me Down"
Is this guy mentally challenged? I mean, not to insult the disabled or anything. But this guy should be fronting the Kids Of Widney High. These guys are trying way too hard to be... something... I can't quite put my finger on. Is it... weird? Melancoly? "Artsy"? It's like they wrote a good pop song and then intentionally fucked it all up on purpose. Like the Pixies, only it's not awesome. (D-)
6. Linkin Park
"Waiting For The End"
Oh no. I haven't even been able to bring myself to click the play button yet. "Waiting for the end" is exactly what I'm doing, before I've even started. Alright, may as well get this over with... Huh. I've definitely heard a lot WORSE from this band. Much, MUCH worse. Would I download it? Nope. Not even with an iTunes gift card. But it's surprisingly not making me want to jam a gun into my left nostril. As the song progresses, though, it's starting to get more and more grating on my fragile nerves, so let's move on. Oops! The rap part just killed it. (D)
7. The Black Keys
"Tighten Up"
Ah, this should cleanse my palate nicely. Kinda sloppy, vagely Creem-ish white boy soul music. The drums are the worst part, and that's honestly what makes the song even work a little bit for me. That, and the vocals are decently executed. It's tolerable. It's not awesome, but it's good background music. Not bad. (B-)
8. Papa Roach
"Burn"
Someone. Please, hit me in the head with something heavy. Right now. I need this. I need it badly. Do it. Please? (F)
9. The Black Keys
"Howlin' For You"
I remember hearing this song at a bar one night, and thought, "These guys are rippin' off that poor pedo Gary Glitter! The nerve a' them!" I like this, though. A lot, actually. But I'm a sucker for shit I've already heard a million times before. I don't like surprises, and this second serving by the Black Keys doesn't disappoint in the familiarity department. Bluesy fuzz guitar with a glam feel? Yes, please. May I have some more? (A+)
10. Mumford and Sons
"Little Lion Man"
Well, so far it's a lot better than that first track. I heard this on the radio at work one day and had no clue what the hell it was. I'm still not sure I like it. It's got good elements in it, but as whole it just sucks. Something here just isn't working. Gimme Flogging Molly's least "punk" material over this any day. (C+)
Never expected you to be a Black Keys fan. I learn something new everyday.
ReplyDeleteI actually dig Mumford and Sons and that Cage the Elephant tune, I heard them on NPR when my car cd player was broke. I'm glad you posted this because I forgot about them. The Linkin Park tune is not bad either, I watched the SNL where they did this. They had all that cool percussion and whatnot. I thought the same thing about that Black Keys song lol.
ReplyDelete@Bernando: Yeah, I don't really listen to them, but most of the stuff I've heard is, in my opinion, much better than most of the schlock they play on the radio. And they're from Akron, which doesn't hurt.
ReplyDelete@Ryan: I honestly can't stand Linkin Park, even one little bit. I think the only reason I reacted to this particular song in an even moderately positive way is because, even at their best, they're still really bad. This song is just the best turd in the clogged toilet that is their songbook. I get the feeling Cage the Elephant is some kind of newer hipster band, who is ripping off a few older bands that I actually like (poorly). Mumford and Sons need to go walk off a cliff. The second song only got such a high grade from me because it was better than the first one. That Black Keys song rips. The second one. The first one was "eh".
I've tried listening to Mumford & Sons a few times. It's semi-decent, but there is something way off.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get how they've gotten so big, then it hit me. They're Coldplay with a banjo. Fucking Coldplay...with a banjo.
Holy shit!! You're right!
ReplyDeleteThe Black Keys "Tighten Up" is the only song I've heard on this list. Hell, I haven't even heard that other Black Keys song and I'm from Akron, too. I need to get out more, I guess.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Jay, you're not missing much.
ReplyDelete