Find us on Google+ Sam Sinister Official: The Year in Facebook Statuses, 2010

The Year in Facebook Statuses, 2010

So, recently our favorite time-waster social media outlet, Facebook, added a new feature in the right sidebar: A list of your own "popular" statuses from 2010. Actually, this might have been one of those features that only lasts a few hours, since I haven't noticed it since yesterday, when I (in true OCD fashion) spent an hour or two refreshing the same page repeatedly while copy-and-pasting all of my own personal favorites. I didn't know what to do with them once I had them in my possession, so I compiled the following list for your own personal enjoyment.

Unexplained Song Lyrics:

"I can't go for that. No can do."

"Graduated Miskatonic U, Now I'm in Gizmonic Institute. Graduated from Hamburger U, now I drive Zamboni for the Moose."

"Wishin' is for chumps."

"You don't have to come and confess; we lookin' fo you. We gon' find you, we gon' find you..."

The Internet:

"If you look at Kenny Loggins after it rains, you'll see a rainbow!"

"I really don't get this Farmville thing, and I really don't want to."

"Let's get some shoes."

Movie and TV Quotes (and Misquotes):

"To make honey, young bee need young flower, not old prune."

"You can suck 'em and suck 'em and suck 'em, and they'll never get any smaller..."

"Double-Soup Tuesday at the Orphanarium."


"I'm a man, too, you know! I go pee pee standing up..."

"The worm is the spice, and the spice is the worm. He who controls the worm, controls the spice. And he who controls the spice controls the universe."

"[Sam Sinster] smokes with cigarettes."

"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?"

Food and Drink (including one Haiku):

"Cornflake chicken."

"Mmmmm... Yoo-Hoo."


"[Sam Sinster] is about to fabricate this chicken, bitch!"

"[Sam Sinster] is enjoying Christmas tree brownies and egg nog."

"Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal."

"If only I could 
Have a taco, I wouldn't 
Be so damn hungry."

Idle Time/Mental Deterioration:

"I'm not unemployed, I'm FUNemployed..."


"Blah blah blah..."

"Can anyone tell me why a helicopter just circled my block?"

"Bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored..."


"I'm bored. Someone entertain me."

"[Sam Sinster] wants to go play in traffic."

"I think I'm slowly forgetting everything I ever knew..."

"Last night sucked, and today shall suck even harder..."

"I've grown tired of being so serious all the time. The world is stupid. Let it die already. WEEEEEE!"

"I should really, probably, be on medication. Either that or I need to start working again, and soon."

Being in a Band:

"[Sam Sinster] thinks being in a band is annoying."

"Do I have mental problems? Or is being in band actually this obnoxious for everyone? Because I swear I was in a good mood 20 minutes ago."

Holiday Cheer:

"In addition to my birthday, today is National Boss Day. Go tell your boss to shove it."

"Happy Friday the 13th."

"Happy Blow Up Parliament For the Catholic Church Day!"

"Happy V For Vendetta Day, America!"

"Nothing screams 'Thanksgiving feast' like an all-you-can-eat buffet."

"Just in case I'm not on here tomorrow, Merry Christmas everyone. Try not to kill your families."

"Happy Ä’ostre, everyone."

The Weather:

"Welcome to Siberia."

"Who wants to help me build an ark?"


"[Sam Sinster] thinks that maybe there's nothing wrong with picking up the slack for parents who never beat their kids once said kids have fully grown."

"Some people involved in subcultures need to realize that maybe the people who were 'old heads' when they were coming up in the scene weren't necessarily the 'be-all-end-all' authority on the history of their music."

"Computers and cellphones should have breathalyzers attached to them. Who's with me?"

"Dear America: Stop casting votes based on your religious beliefs. Keep religion and government separate. Fuck you and your moral high horse. That is all."

"Sick and tired of all this bong-toking, Keystone-guzzling, suburban 'white buoy', frat house partying, hippy-dippy dudebrah shit. Wasn't one Sublime enough?"

(More) First Person Narration:

"[Sam Sinster] wants you to give him some money."

"[Sam Sinster] is in no way a 'gutter punk'."

"[Sam Sinster] is drunk."

"[Sam Sinster] is a huge egomaniac douche."

"[Sam Sinster] is starting his new, tobacco-free lifestyle today. Bought a box of nicotine gum and umma beat your ass with it."

"[Sam Sinster] is still a tobacco user."

"[Sam Sinster] has high cholesterol."

"[Sam Sinster] is playing in Erie tonight. He will not be available to answer any of your existential questions, listen to your sob stories, or read about your latest conquest. We apologize for this inconvenience. Thank you. -Mgmt."

"[Sam Sinister] likes talking about himself in the third person."

Pointless Announcements/Uncategorized:

"Oi! The Opera."

"Apparently, I was 'Oi! Oi! Oi!'ing in my sleep last night..."

"Pittsburgh Zoo today. Maybe I'll get mauled by a bear."

"This ain't rocket surgery..."

"Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on!"


"Yo mama breath so stank, when she snores she sets off the smoke alarms..."

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